now that my college friends are in different parts of the world, the only communication we have is through our e-group.  and because all of them are mommies now, our online chats always have to end abruptly because babies need to be fed or kids are home from school. (someday, i’ll find a really good excuse to be the first to end our online conversations– aside from my usual “gtg, reallyneedtoilet!”)

sometimes i find it amusing that my friends are really parents now because when i think of most of them, i see them passed out on somebody’s living room too drunk to go home.   and now they are such responsible adults?  so when they complain about the latest kalokohan of their kids  it is always moi who reminds them of our college days and how it would only get worse for them.  of course, i can laugh about it since i’m the only non-nanay in the group.  or maybe i’m just a little-teeny-bit bitter because i do feel left out sometimes when they start chatting about their kids, and then i  just had to go ahead and surf other things on the net (like chismis)  and stalk blogs.   i only check in once in a while to see if they are done talking mommy stuff.

my email is full of baby stories and baby pictures.  not that i’m complaining. however crazy my friends are, they managed to bring beautiful babies to this world.  

* * *

g is the newest mom in the group, and everyday she keeps asking everyone for advise.  last week, she asked what was the most crazy advise our moms ever taught us that turned out to be so practical. finally, a nanay discussion i can respond to.  (may nanay kaya ako!)

except i can’t think of anything.  i try and try  to think of an answer and i can’t. 

most claim their moms just gave them the usual advise: be kind, be prayerful, study hard… (Sascha said  her mother nagged her so much about being a good person it drove her crazy. in fairness, Sascha is one of the best people i know so her mom’s nagging paid off. Eric said his mom nagged him, period.  well, he’s a good guy, too. so maybe nagging mothers are good for you? i don’t know.)i know my nanay told me all that (and maybe nagged about all that sometimes) but my nanay was too funny. i am sure she had more imagination than that.  she did have the craziest outlook and ideas on many things.  even the way too serious tita bel managed to impart these words of wisdom to my friend sherynn :  “always wear nice panties when you go out so if you get into an accident and you won’t have to worry that people might see that your undies have holes.” or something to this effect.   (i remember my sister emma knows someone whose mom also gave her the same advise. hmmm.i’m sure they don’t have the same moms, so this maybe quite popular with moms.)

sherynn  says she follows this advise to this day, and it seems silly but if ever she does get into an accident – knock on wood, she says– the first thing that would probably pop on her head is “am i wearing nice undies?”

anna karenina shared that her mom told her never to marry anyone who can’t buy her a diamond ring because “if he can’t buy a (little) ring, can he buy you a (big) house?”  and follow this advise, she did. and her husband did buy her a house, actually his parents gave them a house as a wedding gift.   sweet. (although she’s quick to add that the diamond ring and the house is just an added bonus as her husband is a wonderful guy. and he is –i should know, i set them up!) lucky woman. 

but i was still coming up empty.  i try to think back on all the conversations i had with nanay and i start feeling a little guilty. have i forgotten her or did she really not give me any crazy/practical advise at all? (except for those boring ones all mothers teach their children, op kors.)

there has to be something.  my nanay was probably the most madiskarte person on earth. i remember when i was in grade school and i didn’t want to go to school because i didn’t have baon, she would walk me to school and the first fish or vegetable vendor she meets always ends up handing me one peso for my baon. then she tells them to come by the house in the afternoon so she can repay them. (and i think she really did pay them as this happened quite often. dahil, in fairness , medyo may halaga pa ang piso ng mga panahon na iyon. naiibibili ko pa nga ng caramel ang singko noon.)  it was really embarrassing then but as everyone knows, moms are supposed to embarrass their kids.at least that’s what my friends say.

so i kept thinking, what?

nanay did tell me before that every singko sentimos is important kasi di mabubuo ang piso kung walang singko.  i remember staring at my buong piso then and thinking, “wow! really?how?” pero may singko pa ba ngayon?  there has to be something better.

* * *

anyways, i started writing this a few days back because i was supposed to post it in time for mothers day. (to make up for forgetting nanay’s 10th year death anniversary? o natakot lang na baka multuhin…: ) and mothers’ day came and went and i still could not come up with anything.

and then this morning, while i was talking to my single sister-in-law, karen, about relationships, it suddenly came to me.  of course my nanay gave me the most crazy/practical advise of all.  and maybe i just forgot about this (may not be serious) advise because i have been married for almost nine years.  and it is useless to me now.so here goes:

when i was in high school and i began to…how do i say this…matutong maglandi (e sa hindi ko kayang inglesin, e. ) she told me this:  “never stay with anyone you can’t look at for more than an hour. remember, that face might be the first thing you see when you wake up everyday for the rest of your life.“ (di pa siguro uso ang long-distance relationships noon…)

(side kwento:i once almost fought with a friend –not really fight-fight, just pacute-fight– when we both had a crush with this guy.  anyways, we only saw this guy at night when we would drop by his university supposedly to do some pol work.   then hindi sinasadya we saw him one morning and decided we both really didn’t have a crush on him after all. (and he wasn’t really bad looking. in fact, i know for a fact that a lot of people thinks he is gwapo.) there was just something about him that i can’t look at him for more than a two minutes. and so the pa-cute fight became: “it was you who saw him first, now you’re stuck with him!” luckily we both did not get stuck with him. he probably was not aware of our existence anyways. he did end up dating yet another friend. but that did not last either and she ended up with someone way better. : ))

back to the kuwento.

karen asked: isn’t that kinda shallow? well, maybe it is and  i’m pretty sure nanay reminded me that personality (and brains!) is very important but this advise (which may or may not be told in jest) was always one thing i remembered when i  was meeting guys during my naglalandi days.  whenever i meet a guy i thought i liked, i would try to stare at him and imagine looking at him everyday. a few passed the test, but after that, they failed the personality test…or maybe i failed their personality test… whatever.

but maybe it isn’t shallow at all.  i mean, you should at least be able to look at him and not cringe. besides, if you can’t bear looking at him/her, how can you even talk to him/her? in fairness, my nanay never mentioned gwapo o pangit. she just told me it has to be someone i can look at for a long time and maybe not be umay. i know not everybody is drop-dead gorgeous like me…(bwahaha!!)  but we all have different degrees of tolerence  different ideas on what’s nice to look at…or what’s lovely to behold (mas morantic na ba ‘yan?)  isn’t beauty supposed to be in the eyes of the beholder?  if you can gaze at someone for eternity,  then good for you. you may have found true love. call a priest. or a judge. (but wait, talk to him/her first. just to be sure.must-be-able-to-communicate…) 

(another side kuwento: someone really close to me asked me to attend her wedding and when i saw her husband-to-be, i asked her: “are you sure about this? have you stared at him for at least an hour?” and of course she did not find it funny then but now that they are not together anymore, she thinks i may have been right.  of course, they broke up because of more serious problems but i still think she should have done the “stare test” first.dapat kasi nakikinig sa nanay.)

anyways, it may be shallow. or it may be not shallow. or maybe my nanay was just a firm believer of love at first… stare? and i’m sure not everybody will agree.  but i think i did follow this advise (and i really did stare at my husband back when he started making pa-cute to  but i was just trying to be rude and maybe intimidate him but then i realized, he’s really not bad to look at.ay sus!) and fyi, i can stay up all night looking at my husband and still look forward to looking at him the next day. eeew!  how corny talaga love is.

good thing nanay did not give the “diamond ring” advise because then i really wouldn’t have managed to do that.saan naman hahanap ng diamante itong asawa ko?

the “nice undies” advise is a great one, too.  a girl i worked with once- told me how she went to school once wearing her “favorite” panties and you know how “favorite” panties are like “favorite”pajama bottoms.  except that you don’t mind if your pajama bottoms slide down to the floor sometimes… not unless you also wear them to school. 

anyways, there you go, G.  you’ll do well. you don’t have to be wise all the time.  you can still be your old crazy self, and still be a great mom.  (my nanay was a lot crazy and i loved her . i still do.)

* * *

be happy everyone!

* * *

p.s. now that i think about it, maybe it was my tatay who gave me that advise. aaah! kakaloka!

* * *

><)))’>

http://bitten.shutterchance.com

and

http://kwadro.wordpress.com

the second one is still empty (that’s why i’m a little shy kung i-aannounce ko na ba…) pero do check out the shutterchance photoblog. and don’t forget to leave a comment…kahit hindi magandang komento, wag lang po pangit.)

be happy everyone!

><)))’>

not on purpose though.  i have written a few entries about my india and nepal trip but i haven’t had the chance to post them.  i had very little to zero internet access while i was there. in india, i was working in a very rural area  and there was so much power interruption in nepal it was a waste of time to even open a computer.

i thought i would be able to post them along with some photos when i arrived in manila, but no. i was like busy as hell. writing, transcribing and catching up with friends and family, of course.  and just when i thought it was finished, our office computer crashed. and my traitor little flashdisk? when i tried to use it again, i was told it wasn’t formatted. or whatever. basically, it meant my life was over.

i called a friend, who is supposedly an i.t expert and i was told there was nothing i could do but cry and start over.  and she reminded me to always have back-ups. i was like, yeah, i had back ups. and it crashed as well.  i am now sorry for biting her head off but since i’m rarely mad, i think she has forgiven me. i hope.

so after crying and cursing everybody who tried to talk to me, i re-wrote everything (at least tried to. still in the process now) and submitted the crappiest report ever written by a person over the age of five. it was gross.  even my favorite literary icon’s best poem (AMF forever! wooo!!!) is better that what i wrote. I’m sure the book reports i wrote when i was in grade school were way better than that report. and i spent 48 hours straight without sleep to write it. it was crap. believe me, i always though i was suicidal before, but after writing that crap, i just wanted to crawl to a dark place and die.

and it doesn’t help that everyday i transcribe and try to decipher notes (i can’t even read my own effing notes!) and re-write and every day i’m reminded that it sucks to be me!

i can’t believe how people can still stand being with me everyday. even my husband said i was depressing to be with nowadays.  (and then assures me that he loves me still and wishes i be normal again soon. well, yeah, i wish that, too.) oh, well… i even forgot my nanay’s death anniversary.  and when my sister reminded me, i was like “well, what am i supposed to say? happy anniversary?”. it was a stupid thing to say, i know. but i am stupid these days. i am only thankful that my nanay is so such a scaredy cat that even if i said something wrong,i’m positive she won’t come back to haunt me.

anyways, tried the zipline thing the other day. (it’s like they tie you to a cable and you hang there and slide to the other side of the river…something like that) just to release all the tension. my mother-in-law was mad at me for doing it. it was fun. a hundred pesos well-spent.  i read it was supposed to help get rid of stress and tension. but i am still stressed and depressed as ever. maybe i should have spent a thousand and just went back and forth. my sister-in-law said it would have worked if i screamed. maybe. i’ll do that next time.

you’ll know when i will be in a better mood. and that will be the day i will post my india and nepal entries. as for now i’ll crawl back to my dark corner…

be happy everyone.  i’ll try to be happy in my next post.

the driver must have been too excited to see me, he picked me up at the hotel at 3:20 am! good thing there’s free wi-fi connection here and i charged my laptop last night so i’m all set. plus i just ate a huge bowl of thai seafood noodles (i wrote down it’s name somewhere so i would remember, but i misplaced it…)

i’ll probably remember bangkok for the noodles.  the last time i was here in 04, i ate mostly noodles too.  and spicy shrimp soup.

i’m crazy about noodles! Too much!  There are days when I practically dream about noodles and I bug my husband until he brings me to my favorite vietnamese restaurant.  But noodle-crazy as I am, I only realized yesterday that I was eating noodles the wrong way the whole time. And I wouldn’t have found out if I didn’t venture out of my hotel just before it got dark and found a local noodle shop and, guys, the search is over.  I have died and gone to noodle heaven.  (I was pretty sure before that Noodle Heaven was somewhere in Vietnam. Well, maybe….) but Yum! and to think I was a little scared to enter the restaurant because it didn’t really look touristy. i mean it was clean, but it was just a little hole on the side of the road.  but the kuripot in me won. i mean, what could be more authentic than that shop. and what could be cheaper? haha.and I was so sure I wouldn’t really stand out as a tourist because I look like most of the people there. i think two things gave me away, though. (1) my crazy sign language for “beef noodles with just a little bit of chili, please” AND (2) i eat noodles like a foreigner. almost everybody was just staring!   but now that I think about it, I don’t really think there’s a right way to eat anything.  I enjoyed it and that’s what counts.  maybe they were staring because of the pure bliss written on my face. whatever.

so all in all it’s been a good layover. "haunted room" and all…at the same time, it’s good that my room was awful.the only reason I ventured out  in the first place was that I didn’t like my room.  naturally, a geographical-idiot like me would never dare walk around a strange city all by myself because it’s a given that I would just get lost.  but really, my room was just uncomfortable so I decided to just walk around a bit and just walk one direction.  obviously, didn’t get lost! although, i didn’t see much because my hotel seemed to be surrounded only with hospitals.  (which made it even more eerie!)

anyways, it was a good walk. my room still felt weird but i didn’t feel nor see any ghost. i bought a wi-fi card at the lobby but there was no signal in my room and the only place i could use it was with at the very expensive coffee shop. boo!and to make it worse, there was nothing good on tv! The only channel i could understand was Star Movies, and they were showing all B movies last night. there was a news item about the philippines on the russian channel something about gma.  i was hoping it was about her ouster. that would have given me a good night sleep. anyways, i did not really understand what it was about, I’m sure they were just commenting on how evil she is.

thank heavens I saw Jewel in the Palace (dubbed in Thai) and finally fell asleep, until i was woken up at around 3:20 because my pick-up car has arrived.

anyways, i think the my gate just opened so…see you in chennai!
be happy everyone!

february 15^th, i went to ayala to join my first protest action in five years.  last weekend, i joined my friends in an early morning jog for truth in UP. and the other day, i joined the huge rally in mendiola.   I was so looking forward to going to the rally in ayala today but i have so much to attend as I am leaving tomorrow for india.

so what made me finally get off the couch and go out and join rallies again?

for some months now, i’ve been glued in front of the televison screen watching the senate hearing on the zte deal.  from the time joey de venecia testified until jun lozada. i can only imagine the fear Lozada felt when he was picked up at the airport.  the police, of course, are denying that he was kidnapped. but even if he wasn’t, the fact that they are so willing to help him hide from the senate (and “hide” him for good, most probably) is enough reason to believe him.

it is no secret that gma is probably the most corrupt president the philippines ever had. and her husband? imelda would be a petty thief compared to him.  and son mikey is not far behind.  but to actually hear how much they have stolen and that’s just for one project! i can’t even imagine how much they have amassed from all the projects for all these years. there is no other word for it.  they are all evil.

how else can you stand earning millions of millions of dollars while millions of children cannot go to school and are dying of hunger. while people,even children, are killing themselves because of poverty. when people die from common diseases because they do not have access to medicine and health care. last week, i was watching the news and there was a story about old people being turned away from a public hospital because they cannot be accomodated anymore.  to see all that happen around them and yet continue stealing,  they have got to be evil.

in fact, GMA is worse than evil.  evil does not even begin to define her.  i am against death penalty, but i really wish to see her and her evil husband on the electric chair.  a painless death would be too good for her.  my nanay always told me never to wish other people ill, but really is GMA even human? she is a heartless, shameless… and well, yes, she is a lucky bitch. but her luck is going to run out real soon.

i’m leaving the country on the weekend and i’ll be gone for a little more than two weeks.  i wish i can come back to a corruption free philippines. but that’s asking for too much right now. (it will happen one day) in the meantime, i’ll settle for a gma-free philippines. if not, i will continue to join every rally, every protest action until we are free from that evil woman.

oust gma!

i have been blogging for sometime now.  i think i’ve got four or five blogs out there. the first two (or maybe three) are so empty. and i mean that literally.  i’m one of those people who keeps forgetting their passwords.  then there’s my friendster blog (http://queen_fisher.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/) where i’ve been quite active  ( at least in the beginning.)  i just wasn’t too comfortable with more than a hundred people getting an email every time i write an entry.  i’m sure only a handful of them wanted to read my thoughts on anything anyways.  still, i’m sending out an email to all my friends to announce this new blog.  just the one email, though.  (the handful who read my old blog would appreciate it, i’m sure.) 

and there was my secret blog where i unleashed all my angsts and issues. well, technically it wasn’t really a secret blog.  a few people have read it judging  by some hits and comments i’ve received. no one knew who i was though,  i hope!  it was really only a secret to those who knew me.  it was nothing exciting really.  just the usual petit bourgeois angsts and frustrations  which i’ll probably be venting here from now on.  no more secret blogs!  honestly, my secrets were not really that juicy anyways.   

only one friend knew about it and she has been asking for ages to read it, but i refused.  she gave up when i said i’ll tell her only when i’m dying (specially since i refused to knock on wood after i said the word “dying.” ) 

but guess what: i forgot the password to that one, too. typical.  so it’s really goodbye secret blog now.

hopefully, i won’t forget my password this time.  if that happens…i’ll be back on my friendster blog.  ugh!

 i won’t forget it this time.

 * * *

 my close friend mao gave me a wondeful gift last month.  she had my gadgets (laptop and cellphone) G-masked.  i initially wanted to cover it with either sunflowers or fishes  but i fell in love with the cherry design.  now they look so delicious all covered with cherries. makes me kinda hungry all the time. or i’m just cooking up an excuse to indulge in gluttony. again. as if i need an excuse for that.hahaha.   but i so love my gadgets now.  i was thinking of changing phones for quite sometime now but  i think my phone’s staying with me for maybe a year more. or longer.  suddenly, i’m in love with my phone again and even more in love with my laptop.  my husband should be jealous. 

* * *

i’ve been trying to lose weight for some time now (since forever really!). i was quite successful in the first three months (i started october) then of course the holidays came and the annual barangay fiesta (in my husband’s home barangay in Isabela) on the first week of february then my father-in-law’s first death anniversary. i bought every magazine that promised i can avoid weight gain  during the holidays but i didn’t really have the discipline required.  and while i haven’t gained back everything i’ve lost, my new clothes (mostly  bought just before christmas) are telling me that the pounds are coming back really fast.  which really sucks!  it’s really hard to get back on track after all cardiac delights i’ve consumed in the last three months.  thankfully, i have good friends who just started jogging and invited me to join them.  it’s really more fun to exercise with friends.   so fun that on our first day we found ourselves laughing just all the time. i don’t think we really did much exercise that day. plus we kept encountering the hot monay man that we had to buy some from him and we managed to rest beside the siomai manang while we were eating the monay and you know what happened next. We now do it twice a week –the running and the eating (it used to be just once) and we’ve grown from a group of three to a group of five now.  and i heard, two more friends are joining us next week.  we were even asked if we wanted to join a marathon.  hahaha. good luck! our only problem now is how not to get distracted by all the hot monay, taho and siomai we see everytime we jog.   oh, well…

*** 

be happy, everyone!